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So, yes, you can contract herpes from someone whether or not they are having an outbreak.
Staying in a relationship where you are negative and they are positive seems like playing with fire.
Are you stupid to continue a relationship with someone who has herpes? There are two viruses that people talk about when they talk about herpes: Herpes Simplex Virus 1 and Herpes Simplex Virus 2, or HSV-1 and HSV-2.
Or is contracting herpes from your partner going to be an inevitability—not a matter of if, but when? I'm not going to sit here and guarantee that you'll never get herpes, either from your long term girlfriend or from a random hookup.