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You’re entitled to your feelings about that, and you get some space to make it about you, too, because some of it is.There’s nothing worse than a desperate clown doing tricks for approval.Having recently read an article describing What A Single Mom Wants In A Boyfriend I began asking myself exactly what I was looking for in a woman with whom I choose to have a relationship. Recently, after a brutal 14-month custody battle, I was finally granted 50/50 custody of her and no longer limited to being an every-other-weekend dad.You might think that change shouldn’t have a significant effect on the qualities I look for in a woman, but it absolutely does.See your friends, take yourself to a movie, catch up on some work, or just be by yourself and breathe.
You can live your life, go out on dates, and pretty much do whatever you want within the confines of the law for 26 days out of the month.If he’s your entire world, then all you’ll be able to see when he spends time with his kids is time that you don’t get to be with him.Keep your life full of things that are only yours, that have nothing to do with who you are as a girlfriend.My friend’s resentment was just fear dressed up as something else, and the girlfriend was just collateral damage. He’s doing the best he can, and the last thing he needs is to feel even guiltier than he already feels.
That clear and simple explanation cracked everything wide open for me. Even though I already knew that, it hit me in a new way when my friend explained it. Chances are, no matter where he is, he feels like he’s letting someone down, and between the two factions in his life, you are (supposedly) the grown-up. Sometimes when parenting duties push me off the docket, I can see in his eyes how torn up he feels—how much he hates disappointing me but has no choice.My relationship with a divorced father of three has been one of the most grueling, difficult, maddening, fulfilling, self-revealing things I’ve ever done, and it has taken me a boatload of wrong moves and bad fights to find my way.