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Business owners can be especially adept at carrying out these “dual lives,” since they can siphon money from their companies “without anybody really noticing,” Coambs says.
This can help a sex addict control the situation by hiding expenses from a spouse who’s “particularly vigilant” about household finances, he says.
It’s the quintessential story of the frog in the boiling pot that doesn’t even know he’s in a boiling pot until it’s too late,” Coambs says.
No matter what kind of spending occurs, some sex addicts, most of whom are men, maintain a secret credit card so their wives or partners don’t discover their out-of-bounds spending.
But every once in a while, his wife would figure out something was amiss, so the man would just cut up the secret credit card and open another hidden account. They’re addicted to the drug, and the drug [addiction] just progresses and the expenses get increased.” When excessive spending accompanies out-of-control sexual behavior, it’s critical for a sex addict to face financial reality, says Barbara Winter, a psychologist and sexologist.
By and large, such spending is a consequence of the addiction, Giugliano says. She recalls one patient who, over the course of several years, spent roughly 0,000 on living expenses, travel and pretty much anything his “girlfriend” desired.
For instance, the addict might buy high-tech gadgets for the kids or fancy restaurant meals for the spouse.
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A secret credit card can mask the secret expenses of a sex addict.
Maybe the addict amasses thousands of dollars in charges to cover pricey hotel rendezvous with high-dollar escorts – and to hide these deceitful expenses from a spouse.
Ed Coambs, a sex addiction therapist and financial therapist, says a “significant number” of the people he treats for sex addiction are burdened by credit card debt.
Mental health professionals don’t see eye to eye on a definition of “sex addiction.” According to Psychology Today, the term doesn’t appear in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders used by mental health professionals to diagnose and classify mental disorders. Because “clinicians and researchers agree there is not enough empirical evidence to support this diagnosis,” Psychology Today says.It’s the quintessential story of the frog in the boiling pot that doesn’t even know he’s in a boiling pot until it’s too late.”In general, Coambs says, one massive expense related to sex addiction doesn’t push an addict into financial distress.