Best first questions online dating
So today, I’m going to tell you about 4 common pitfalls of meeting someone online and 4 ways you can avoid those pitfalls and increase the chance that your relationship will work.When you first meet someone you are interested in, you can spend more energy trying to make sure that they like you, than thinking about whether or not you like them.We can do “casual intimacy.” When we meet online, therefore, it is easier to strike up a relationship with someone we are actually not all that compatible with. One obvious solution is to meet in person as soon as possible.This will help you gauge quickly whether there is any in-person chemistry.Literally millions of people (including me) who first met online are now married, and psychologists are starting to examine these relationships. One independent study surveyed almost 20,000 Americans who met their spouse online.If you meet online does that tend to make you more or less compatible? Those of us who met their partners online will find the results encouraging. In fact, people who met online were slightly less likely to divorce and scored slightly higher on marital satisfaction.” (Bohannon, 2013, Online marriage is a happy marriage). scientific support for what many of us have known for years – meeting someone online can work.
(You knew there was going to be a “however” didn’t you.) If you date or marry this person, issues associated with their family of origin will rear their heads in your own relationships.Meeting for a quick coffee early in the process isn’t always feasible, however. There are good reasons that asking questions and listening well are relationship superpowers.So what else can help you stay safe and date smart when you meet someone interesting online? Guard yourself against the assumptions and idealizations that can flourish in a long distance relationship. Don’t just think about the image you are presenting to this prospective partner, think about what they are telling you. Often we neglect the basics because we’re looking for a surefire tip or a secret answer we just haven’t figure out yet.It can feel a lot more natural to ask and answer questions over a cup of coffee than via email.
You also have more opportunities to see whether someone’s words match their actions.This doesn’t always turn to be the case; no matter how much phone or email chemistry you share. Not a single spark.) Secondly, when you meet someone online, it’s easier for your imagination to get carried away by that heady mixture of excitement and hope.